Birthday Blues

Sara is turning 8 (going on 28). We decided to throw a birthday party this year. This, of course, comes with all sorts of questions and landmines. What kind of party? Where to host it? Who to invite? Who not to invite? Such all-important decisions can cripple a highly imaginative yet remarkably indecisive girl turning 8 - ask this girl what she wants for breakfast and you will still be waiting for an answer at dinner time. Being a winter baby in the Midwest, our house is not an option. I refuse to clean my house twice and have a bunch of crazed, hyped up on sugar girls running around my house like Gremlins after dark. She wanted a roller-skating party. Affordable and easy. Except, my daughter wearing roller skates looks likes Bambi trying to stand on the ice. So, roller-skating is out, despite the song "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want". Call me Nostradamus but I foresee lots of tears from the birthday girl when all the other girls are channeling their inner Mary Lou Retton while she is sprawled on the rink like a speed bump. Sara loves food, especially dessert, so we decided to throw a cooking/baking bash at the local grocery store. Except, it is a more expensive party. Do we keep the number down to the minimum or maximum? Sara's answer, since it isn't her dime, is to invite as many girls as possible, including her nemesis. (Sara is a firm believer in buying friends). I'm proud of her because she hates the idea of anyone being left out but there are approximately 45 girls in the 3rd grade classes and I have dreams of my kids going to college. So, knowing you cannot please all the people all of the time, we have made our decision to invite the girls from her class only. I know girls will be hurt and disappointed. I know Sara will feel bad about not being able to invite everyone. But, it seems like the most reasonable and democratic solution. And, being the meanest mommy on the planet and hater of goody bags, I'm not passing those out, either. They get a sugar high and that's it, folks. I would like to meet the person who decided that kids get a bag of stuff just for attending someone else's birthday party. I wonder what other idiotic ideas he/she has.