Of Mice & Men

Our son, Christian, is 3.8 years old. He has never set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese. A record I hope to maintain until he is collecting social security. It is a loud, crowded, overpriced and brightly lit Petri dish. There is one of these god-forsaken establishments on the other side of town. Today, we happened to be in the area and I wanted to run into a sporting goods store next to it. (Don't laugh. I have been inside these 'sporting' stores occasionally. I never know what they sell and ask really dumb questions). When we were walking out, Christian pointed and yelled "Mom, look! A Chuck E. Cheese. Can we go?". I was floored. The kid can't read. He has never been to one before. How did he know what it was? He quickly educated me. "Cole from my school told me that's where you go when you have a birthday and it makes your birthday better". What? Are you kidding me? The kid's birthday is not for another 4 months and he is already plotting his MTV Super Sweet 16 mega bash?! I tried to deflect and postpone this conversation. "Buddy, your birthday isn't until June. Let's talk about it then". Undeterred, he shoots back with "It's June now so that means it IS my birthday!" Not to be out-manauevered by a 3.8 year old, I come back with "No, it's it June yet. It's too cold to be June". Being a brilliant problem-solver, he announced "If we went inside Chuck E. Cheese, it wouldn't be cold because it would be warm inside". Yes, your logic is flawless, buddy. But, I am the grownup and mama says your birthday stays in June and we won't be celebrating at a place that will pretty much guarantee that we will all need penicillin in mega doses after the party.