Children of God

I'm waiting for us to get kicked out of church. When Sara was little, she would raise her hand to ask questions and comment during the homily. She sat through Mass in the hopes that there were donuts afterwards. We took Christian to church as an infant because when babies fuss or misbehave, everyone thinks it is cute. He got older but no better behaved so we took turns taking Sara to church. She even sang in the choir, even though they rejected her suggestions of more Justine Bieber and Taylor Swift songs. Lately, we've been bringing Christian to church, hoping that God can instill some sense, discipline and order into the kid. Even God is struggling with that challenge. We even enrolled him into the Childrens' Liturgy of the Word. When Fr. Bill called the children up, he hesitated for a minute. Then he raced up the aisle ONTO the altar. Fr. Bill, fearing he was losing his job to a vocal 4 year old, caught him, blessed him and turned him around. Christian proudly marched down the aisle waving at everyone. Hoping he would return filled with the Holy Spirit, we settled back down for the rest of Mass. Peace was short lived. All the little kids had returned but Christian. We turn back and see him wandering the church looking for a nice family to take him home. We quickly reclaimed him. When it is time for the offering, Fr. Bill invites the small kids to bring theirs up to a large basket. Christian runs down the aisle waving a dollar bill like he is in Vegas. We have to send Sara up to bring him back. Now, he is being dragged back to our pew against his will. And he is NOT coming willingly. At this point, I cannot tell if people pity us or judge us. Maybe they were just praying for us. When he sits back down with us, he spends the rest of Mass shooting fake spider webs at the people behind us. God may have to come up with some new and improved commandments if we keep bringing Spiderman to Mass.