I'm a lousy houseguest

Have you ever read the books "If You Give A Mouse...."? They are great books about the pitfalls of befriending a greedy little rodent who spends the whole book manipulating and mooching as much free loot as he can before people catch on. He is my role model. Well, this weekend, we were the mouse. We started our weekend at my dad's house. We scored dinner, breakfast, a truckload of books, lunch, cookies, magazine, and a set of West Wing DVDs. Then we hijacked my aunt's car and headed to our next target - the Tisch family. We took over every room in their house, used their babysitter, made them feed our kids and I "borrowed" a necklace. Their 3 year old daughter was helping me get ready and we decided my outfit could use some bling. So, i wandered into the master bedroom. Tim was busy brushing his teeth so I helped myself to the goodies in the jewelry box. I did give it back at the end of the night. At my birthday party, despite a strict "no gift" policy, I scored some fabulous homemade cookies (No, I won't share), a charm, several gift cards, a purse, and a bottle of wine. The next morning, the two families had breakfast. When the Tisch family remodeled their kitchen, my unsolicited input was that there was room for both families at the kitchen table. Luckily, they ordered a big enough table.

I'm a lousy house guest because I hate being treated like a guest. I want to be at home in your home. I want to be a part of your family and don't want to be a burden. I will help myself to food and drink so you don't have to wait on me hand and foot. I will go hunting for what I need rather than pester you. (I don't usually steal jewelery - that was a one time deal, I promise). For the record, I 'sort of' informed her husband I was "borrowing" her necklace. He was caught off guard because he was brushing his teeth and I barged in.

When I was growing up, we had a cabin up north. We were allowed to bring friends with us. My mom had 2 firm rules. One, the friend had to call home to check in every night. Two, the kid wasn't a guest. He/she was family and would be treated as such, good or bad. My mom must have been on to something because our friends loved coming with us and begged to come back.