Today, Paul participated in our MOPs male-panel discussion. It was an interesting and diverse group of men willing to be grilled and interrogated about their lives, thoughts and beliefs about fatherhood and marriage. The panel consisted of an academic (Paul), a pediatrician, a construction worker, a banker, and a chemist. Here are the revealing things we learned:
- Men and women think differently (shocking, huh?). Women multi-task. Men are more linear by nature (one thing at a time).
- Men and women view parenthood differently. Men view fatherhood as a part of their identity.
- Women, especially STAH moms, tend to define themselves solely as a mother.
- Men do not over-think and over-worry about every little thing relating to the kids. "If they are alive at the end of the day, it has been a good day".
- Men actually enjoy their jobs and careers. THAT is why they work so hard. It is not an evil plot to avoid us, kids, and chores.
- Men do not experience "daddy" guilt. They cannot understand why we do. When they tell us to take "me time", they mean it. It isn't some passive-aggressive mind game. Men do NOT play mind games. Their minds don't work that way.
- They do not spend hours thinking up ploys to avoid housework. They don't notice it unless it is pointed out to them. They suffer from "male pattern blindness"
- They do not think we sit around eating bon-bons and watching Oprah.
- If left to their own devices, they would sit around in their underwear eating cold soup from the can.
- They mean what they say and they say what they mean.
- They appreciate everything they do but don't always remember to say it (or know how)
It was an interesting discussion. Thanks to all the men who participated. You were very brave.
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