Saturday, April 14, 2012

Mama's Boy

I knew when we had our daughter that she would be a daddy's girl. I am still a daddy's girl. With 5 older brothers, the competition wasn't very fierce. When we had our son, everyone assured me that he would be a mama's boy. I would be the one he would run to, the hand he reached for, the person he would seek out for comfort. No such luck. I am 0-2. Both my kids prefer Daddy for anything and everything. I am a second class citizen when he is around. When he was 18 months old, we went to Disney. He went into full Daddy mode. He wanted Daddy to do everything. And he was vocal about it. I felt the need to reassure our friends we were with that I do NOT, in fact, abuse or neglect him. Everyone assured me that it was a phase. It's because he is home with me all the time. And the one that made my blood boil - it is because he loves me sooo much that he feels secure enough to act that way. If that is true, I fear for his future girlfriends. I am a halfway decent mother whose children, for some reason, seem to dramatically prefer their father. It happened again last week. My 'darling husband' thought it would be great to DRIVE to Disney. The one on Orlando. The one 68 states away. Surprisingly, we made it there in one piece with most of our sanity still in tact. Once we got to the 'happiest place on Earth", my almost 4 year old son went into full Daddy mode again. Loudly and violently. If he had to go on a ride with me, the resulting temper tantrum was mind-boggling. At 18 months old, I could almost forgive the behavior. At almost 4, I wasn't hurt. I was mad. Why would a normal child act this way? Is he doing it because he knows it gets under my skin? Why does he think it is ok to act that way? Why does he feel the need to lash out? Since we don't indulge temper tantrums of any kind any where, we were forced to step out of line and explain to him that he could either stop crying and go on the ride with the woman who gave birth to his 10.5 lb self or skip the ride. Do you have any idea how ridiculous I felt issuing THAT ultimatum? Anyone who knows me knows I second and third guess myself as a parent almost every waking minute. Having to issue an ultimatum to get my son to go on a ride with me didn't exactly bolster my parenting self confidence. When we are home, he is perfectly fine. My husband and I take turns giving his bath, taking him to the bathroom and putting him to bed. Something about vacation turns him into a mommy-loathing child. Let's just say I no longer find Disney to be the magical, dreams come true place. It has become my nightmare.

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