He Was Framed!

Update - we survived the kindergarten school year and are entering 3rd grade. Not much has changed. Kindergarten started 3.5 months ago. We are still in the learning curve. First he thought it was too hard, had too many rules, didn't like the snacks and lasted too long. Then Christian discovered things like lunch, computers, recess and the bus ride. Suddenly, school was not so bad. He played soccer at recess, learned computer games and had buddies on the bus. But those pesky rules keep getting in the way. So far, he has gotten busted running into the classroom and sliding on his knees, like he is trying to steal second base, excessive talking, ignoring personal space, not keeping his hands to himself, difficulty following directions, and the all-inclusive - staying in control. I can tell the second he gets off the bus what "color" day he had. Green is good, yellow is caution, red is big trouble. I hear talk of a purple day - which is "outstanding". Christian assures me that a purple day is beyond his capabilities. He instantly tries to defend himself - he was framed, he was provoked or completely innocent. We assure him that his teacher and classmates are not out to get him and he better get himself under control. His defense mechanism are usually short-lasting. He pretty much crumbles and confesses when we volunteer to call the teacher and hear her version of his crime spree. Since no lawyer will take on his case pro bono, there is no trial with a jury of his peers. Frankly, I think they would sell him down the river. He has managed to con all the girls in the class. They play games at recess with him. He plays the "baby" and they are all his mommies. He tries to run away and they catch him. So much for playing hard to get. He was very proud that he got some little girl to make snowballs for him to throw at recess. Luckily, his teacher is immune to the baby blue eyes when he tries batting them at her. His parent teacher conference was equally amusing. First he tried to convince me that my attendance was not needed. He assured me he was doing very well in school and I should just stay home. Not being a complete and total fool, I attended. I know my child pretty well so I could imagine how the meeting would go. I assured his teacher that she has a great deal more credibility with us than the child who will stand there covered in chocolate and blame the missing baked good on his sister who is still at school 5 miles away. Now he has 3 adults who are on to his game. We had to explain (again) that the teacher does not need his input or opinions on what is being taught, or how and when it is taught.