Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Fearless

I am in awe of my 8 year old daughter. She is afraid of nothing. Granted, she has her stuffed Lambi to look out for her and protect her from........ whatever lambs protect small children from. And Lambi's track record is impeccable. Nothing truly horrible has ever happened to her while Lambi is on guard duty. Today I dropped Sara off for her first overnight camp. She will be spending 2 nights living in a "glorified" tent 4 hours away from home. Sara knows no one at this camp and has never been there before but she was excited to go. She packed a month ago. She woke up at 6:30 this morning even though check in was not until 10 a.m. She has never feared new experiences, new places or new people. Any school or day camp she attends, she jumps out of the car, races into the building and introduces herself to everyone she meets. No clinging, no tearful goodbyes. Just a hug and a casual "see you later, Mom" and she is off. This girl is not afraid of new experiences. She doesn't worry that she won't like it or make friends. She just fully expects to have fun and make new friends. And she is always right. Evan an afternoon at the park will garner at least 2 new friends. She already told me she wants to return to camp next year and stay longer. We got to her tent, met her counselors and set up her sleeping bag. Before I could blink, it was time for me to go. She gave me a half-hug and kiss before racing back to her tent to meet the girls and start having fun. Silly me, I got back into my car, looked in the rear view mirror at her empty booster seat and wondered why on Earth I just dropped my baby off to survive in the woods for 2 nights. I called my father for sympathy. He barely concealed his laughter and assured me she would be fine. Granted, my brothers were sent to the Canadian woods for a month every summer. So, I guess I was barking up the wrong tree for sympathy. But, this is different. How? This is MY baby. My little girl who still sleeps curled up with her Lambi. Every night I blow kisses onto her ceiling so they fall on her while she sleeps. She still believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Logically, I know she will be fine. That we will miss her more than she misses us. But it will feel very strange to check on only one child tonight when I go to sleep and see her empty (still messy) room. I will not feel right and settled until she is back under our roof and sleeping in her bed. She has a positive outlook and it pays off. She embraces new experiences. She thrives on new adventures. She loves trying new things - places, food, activities. I wish I were more like her. I dread the unknown and unexpected. Maybe I need a Lambi to watch out for me.

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