Thursday, October 18, 2012
I Am A Mother, Not A Hero
I will never be called calm, stoic, brave, or resilient. Especially when my kids are involved. I am also not a hero. I will call in reinforcements without blinking an eye. When our daughter was born, my husband had to travel for work. I immediately dialed a friend who would be too nice to say no. She stayed with me, helped with diapers, midnight feedings and a bout of mastitis. She even extended her trip when I asked. Mastitis was a recurring theme in my life for about 6 weeks. It tied in nicely with my post-partum depression. I was lovely to be around. And I did NOT want to be alone. I called in my working mom friends, family, even my father. Basically, if someone was dumb enough to answer my call, they got pressed into service. I was not doing it for myself. I was doing it for my baby. I was not going to pretend to be a strong do-it-all-myself woman at the expense of my child. Through the years, I have had to call on neighbors and family for splinter removal, rides, meals, errands, even company at the E.R. with a newborn suffering seizures. Last night, while my husband was out of town for work, our 4 year old fell and split his lip wide open. This is an understatement. He decimated his lip. They had to sedate him to repair it. They should have sedated me, as well. Exhausted, we left the E.R. and headed home. My first phone call from the car was to a friend with a list of groceries I needed delivered the next day. The list included 3 items. When she arrived, she had 4 bags of groceries - drinks and straws for the patient, a get-well balloon and stuffed Spiderman, meals for the family, as well as pop and wine for me. She also made 2 extra stops - one to buy a squeeze cup so he can drink without ripping the stitches out and a second stop for a McDonald's Diet Coke for me. She also laughed in my face when I offered to reimburse her. My next phone call was to another friend to watch Christian so I could run Sara to school and he could stay on the couch, drooling and relaxing. My third call was to another friend to drive Sara home from school. I was like Oz ordering my minions around. I did not hesitate to call on any of these amazing women. And they did not hesitate to run to my aid. No one can do it all. No should even try to. Several friends asked why I kept Sara at the E.R. with me. I asked her several times if she wanted me to call someone to take her home to our house. She wanted to stay with her brother and me. I know that anyone I called would have gladly come to get her. I would have made that call in a heartbeat if it was needed. Today, another friend showed up on my doorstep with Moe's for lunch. Anyone who knows me knows about my slight obsession with Moe's. Yes, I have the app on my phone that says "Welcome to Moe's". She even stayed at chatted. She sympathized with me. I didn't have to ask her to bring me food. She heard what happened and knew I was stuck at home with an injured and drooling boy who was content to lie on the couch. She just showed up with food, a smile and friendship. Just what the doctor ordered. I am lucky and blessed to have amazing friends in my life. I hope they know that I would do the same for them. Day or night. I probably do not deserve the amazing women I have the honor and fortune to call "friends" but I am grateful beyond words to have them in my life.