Get over it!!

Paul returned home from a 10-day business trip last night. The family went out for dinner and ice cream. We watched a movie together and gave the kids showers. We put the kids to bed then chatted about the last 10 days. This morning we had a family breakfast, went to Home Depot and the grocery store. I put Christian down for his nap then announced sheepishly that I'd like to go to the pool by myself, relax and read a book. Paul gave me a kiss goodbye and headed upstairs to fix a toilet. So, why did I feel guilty about escaping when 1 child was sleeping and 1 was helping dad do some plumbing? Neither child cried when I left. Heck, one didn't even notice. Over the last 10 days I was home to put my kids to bed 9 nights. I had a sitter 2 times. They were not exactly neglected or abandoned. I took them to the zoo, the pool, the park, and the county fair. So, what rational woman feels guilty for stealing 2.5 hours to relax poolside after doing single parent duty for 10 days? Me, apparently. Note, Paul said "bye, have fun, wear sunscreen". This crazy and unjustified guilt was entirely from within. I know men who work all week, go out for a beer after work and hit the golf course on the weekend. They don't waste a minute feeling guilty about any of this. What is their trick? How do mothers get rid of the mommy guilt? Why do we do it to ourselves? I am a stay-at-home mom who spends every day with my kids. We have family dinner most nights. My child-free excursions are the gym, monthly buncko and an occasional girls night out. Rationally, I know I'm being ridiculous feeling guilty but the mommy part of my brain still tries to tell me that I'm being selfish. Sometimes I wish my mommy brain would just keep quiet.

The shallow end of the gene pool

I must be a delicate flower. I seem to catch every plague, sniffle, cough and flu that comes near me. I am not stoic about it either. When I'm sick, I want to crawl into my bed and hide there until it's over. Right now, I do not have that luxury. Paul has been out town and working late so I'm on double parent duty. Yesterday was school for both kids, Sara's baseball game, registering her for Bible camp, 2 baths, 2 dinners and 2 bedtimes. I had to accomplish all this while clutching a tissue box like a security blanket. Getting 2 kids to leave a baseball field while carrying 2 water bottles, a beach chair, a bat, glove and helmet was a challenge like none I had ever faced. Storming the beaches of Normandy was easier and less complicated. Both kids found it necessary to pick up and examine every rock that crossed their paths. Somehow we managed to load the car and head home. The kids immediately capitalized on my compromised and fragile condition and declared a "movie night". Guess what? If you park a 7 and 2 year old in front of the TV, you can actually lie down and relax. Sold!!!!

The timing of my latest affliction couldn't be worse. This weekend is Sara's First Communion. We will have 9 family members visiting for the weekend. We will host a party for 25 people. I may have to wear a hazmat suit to avoid starting a pandemic. I may have my sister-in-law mow my lawn because right now it has more dandelions than grass. And she claims she enjoys the exercise. Just so Paul's sister doesn't feels left out, I may have her cooking for the party. My goal is to give everyone a chore or job this weekend so I can kick back, recover and enjoy the party. I have laundry that needs folding and a dishwasher begging to be emptied. I may save those glamorous tasks for my dad and aunt. Just so they don't feel left out.