Monday, July 4, 2011

Get over it!!

Paul returned home from a 10-day business trip last night. The family went out for dinner and ice cream. We watched a movie together and gave the kids showers. We put the kids to bed then chatted about the last 10 days. This morning we had a family breakfast, went to Home Depot and the grocery store. I put Christian down for his nap then announced sheepishly that I'd like to go to the pool by myself, relax and read a book. Paul gave me a kiss goodbye and headed upstairs to fix a toilet. So, why did I feel guilty about escaping when 1 child was sleeping and 1 was helping dad do some plumbing? Neither child cried when I left. Heck, one didn't even notice. Over the last 10 days I was home to put my kids to bed 9 nights. I had a sitter 2 times. They were not exactly neglected or abandoned. I took them to the zoo, the pool, the park, and the county fair. So, what rational woman feels guilty for stealing 2.5 hours to relax poolside after doing single parent duty for 10 days? Me, apparently. Note, Paul said "bye, have fun, wear sunscreen". This crazy and unjustified guilt was entirely from within. I know men who work all week, go out for a beer after work and hit the golf course on the weekend. They don't waste a minute feeling guilty about any of this. What is their trick? How do mothers get rid of the mommy guilt? Why do we do it to ourselves? I am a stay-at-home mom who spends every day with my kids. We have family dinner most nights. My child-free excursions are the gym, monthly buncko and an occasional girls night out. Rationally, I know I'm being ridiculous feeling guilty but the mommy part of my brain still tries to tell me that I'm being selfish. Sometimes I wish my mommy brain would just keep quiet.

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