Get over it!!

Paul returned home from a 10-day business trip last night. The family went out for dinner and ice cream. We watched a movie together and gave the kids showers. We put the kids to bed then chatted about the last 10 days. This morning we had a family breakfast, went to Home Depot and the grocery store. I put Christian down for his nap then announced sheepishly that I'd like to go to the pool by myself, relax and read a book. Paul gave me a kiss goodbye and headed upstairs to fix a toilet. So, why did I feel guilty about escaping when 1 child was sleeping and 1 was helping dad do some plumbing? Neither child cried when I left. Heck, one didn't even notice. Over the last 10 days I was home to put my kids to bed 9 nights. I had a sitter 2 times. They were not exactly neglected or abandoned. I took them to the zoo, the pool, the park, and the county fair. So, what rational woman feels guilty for stealing 2.5 hours to relax poolside after doing single parent duty for 10 days? Me, apparently. Note, Paul said "bye, have fun, wear sunscreen". This crazy and unjustified guilt was entirely from within. I know men who work all week, go out for a beer after work and hit the golf course on the weekend. They don't waste a minute feeling guilty about any of this. What is their trick? How do mothers get rid of the mommy guilt? Why do we do it to ourselves? I am a stay-at-home mom who spends every day with my kids. We have family dinner most nights. My child-free excursions are the gym, monthly buncko and an occasional girls night out. Rationally, I know I'm being ridiculous feeling guilty but the mommy part of my brain still tries to tell me that I'm being selfish. Sometimes I wish my mommy brain would just keep quiet.

The Art of Entertaining

I figured out how to entertain and still have fun. Put your guests to work. Too often hosts are too focused on everything being "perfect". No one has fun. The hosts are stressed and cooped up in the kitchen. We had 11 family members over for dinner tonight. I spent the day shopping in Shipshewana with my sisters-in-law, niece and Sara. We had lunch, went on a buggy ride and had a great time browsing through the shops. I didn't spend all day in the kitchen cooking. Paul and I didn't want to slave in the kitchen over dinner. We wanted to mingle and spend time with our family. So, we made the brilliant decision to make dinner a super casual and communal effort. I flung place mats and silverware at people so they could set the table. I put people in charge of setting out the food and serving themselves. My dad played bartender. Sara took dessert orders and my sister-in-law served it. My aunt kept the kids entertained. Ok, mostly they chased each other around the house and she laughed. But, everyone was happy. Guess what? Our dinner party wasn't fancy. It wasn't perfect. It was fun, easy and relaxing for everyone. I'll take that kind of party over a fancy perfect one any day. We have 25 people coming tomorrow to celebrate Sara's First Communion. I hope the guests are prepared to sing for their supper. And have fun doing it. I may not make them do dishes.