Motherhood - it's not for wimps

John 16:21
A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a child is born into the world.


It is a strange, scary and wonderful experience. It's a 24/7 job with no training or pay. You don't get a mentor. You don't even really get to retire. You don't get a grace period. There is no learning curve. You never get promoted. They just hand you a kid and say "go, take care of It and keep it alive and safe". The kids play mind games on you. They don't listen to you. They trash your house. Then, right when you are drafting the child for sale ad on eBay, they cuddle and kiss you. You get to wear your pajamas a lot. You think you are the boss but you most assuredly are not. You answer to little people who cannot feed, bathe or clothe themselves. Your day starts at the first wail of a hungry child and ends when the house is clean, dishes are washed, laundry done, lunches packed, kids are fed, bathed and asleep. Luckily, there are places to go and groups to join where you can bond and commiserate with other moms. I'm in a MOPS group and I love it. I learn that I am not the only mom who feels overwhelmed and under qualified most days. My kids are not the only ones who fight and don't listen. Best part? They watch your kids and feed you while you listen to each other's parenting woes.

You have to be strong yet flexible to be a mother. Kids throw a lot at you (all at once). You have to at least pretend to handle it with grace. Kids are smart and perceptive. They can sense things you may not even be aware of. My kids pick up when I am angry, stressed or distracted. We need to teach them everything. We need to teach them to care for themselves. We also need to teach them to care for and about others. We need to show them their place in the world. We need to hope we instill in them the skills, compassion and patience they need to be happy and successful. It is a daunting job that never ends. It's a job that can scare and thrill you all at the same time.

MOPS

This year, I joined MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). Where has this been for the last 7 years? For those of you unfamiliar with this group, it is a place to find friendship, community, resources and support for mothers so you are not alone. Moms have found community through MOPS for almost 40 years. MOPS holds and shares the collected wisdom of mothers and experts. We meet twice a month, have food, conversation and fabulous guest speakers. If you have a child between ages birth and 5 and like to meet fellow moms and eat good food, check out your local MOPS chapter.

I've met some great women and been inspired by our speakers. The best part? The mommy mess up. That's right. If you are willing to stand up and tell an embarrassing moment as a parent, they reward you with a huge chocolate bar. Any group that gives you chocolate as a condolence prize for being an imperfect mom is tailor made for me. I've gotten that prize a few times this year. I put my child in time out and forgot she was up there. I forgot to pack her lunch. I've yelled at the wrong kid by accident, to name a few of my finer mommy moments.

The women in my group are diverse and interesting. There are parents with 5 kids, special needs kids, adopted kids, step kids, you name it. There are stay at home moms, working moms, older moms, younger moms. We get together, chat, support one another, make each other laugh and inspire each other. I brought dinner to a mom who recently had her 5th child. When I stopped by her house, one child was doing home work and 2 were playing quietly together. Lucky for her, my kids stopped by and created total chaos and anarchy. As she and I chatted, her oldest came up, stood quietly by her side and waited. When there was a pause in the conversation, he politely said "excuse me". True story! This kid actually waited patiently and didn't interrupt. I was floored. I think she needs to have 6 more kids because she is clearly doing something right. When we left, all her kids thanked us for stopping by. I'm trying to convince this tired and busy mom that our kids need to spend more time together. I'm hoping some of that will rub off on mine (and not the other way around).