Thursday, October 6, 2011
Motherhood - it's not for wimps
A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a child is born into the world.
It is a strange, scary and wonderful experience. It's a 24/7 job with no training or pay. You don't get a mentor. You don't even really get to retire. You don't get a grace period. There is no learning curve. You never get promoted. They just hand you a kid and say "go, take care of It and keep it alive and safe". The kids play mind games on you. They don't listen to you. They trash your house. Then, right when you are drafting the child for sale ad on eBay, they cuddle and kiss you. You get to wear your pajamas a lot. You think you are the boss but you most assuredly are not. You answer to little people who cannot feed, bathe or clothe themselves. Your day starts at the first wail of a hungry child and ends when the house is clean, dishes are washed, laundry done, lunches packed, kids are fed, bathed and asleep. Luckily, there are places to go and groups to join where you can bond and commiserate with other moms. I'm in a MOPS group and I love it. I learn that I am not the only mom who feels overwhelmed and under qualified most days. My kids are not the only ones who fight and don't listen. Best part? They watch your kids and feed you while you listen to each other's parenting woes.
You have to be strong yet flexible to be a mother. Kids throw a lot at you (all at once). You have to at least pretend to handle it with grace. Kids are smart and perceptive. They can sense things you may not even be aware of. My kids pick up when I am angry, stressed or distracted. We need to teach them everything. We need to teach them to care for themselves. We also need to teach them to care for and about others. We need to show them their place in the world. We need to hope we instill in them the skills, compassion and patience they need to be happy and successful. It is a daunting job that never ends. It's a job that can scare and thrill you all at the same time.