Wednesday, November 23, 2011

School lunch with a preschooler

Sometimes to shake up our rather mundane lives, we like to surprise Sara at school and join her for lunch. For a 3 year old, this is the big leagues. While we wait in the lobby, Christian is very busy running up and down the handicapped ramp and talking to the frig statue. Why the school has a statue of a frog is a question I never asked. Heaven help the kid in a wheelchair who actually needs the ramp for it's intended purpose. Then he has to greet all the pretty girls with his standard pick up line of "I have 2 blue eyes". While we eat lunch with Sara and her friends, he becomes the new Regis Philbin. He can chat up anyone and has a ton of witty anecdotes. On our way out of the school, he imparts some wisdom to the principal then proceeds to find and jump into every puddle he can find. Then he has the nerve to be offended when he gets wet. Maybe I should have avoided drawing attention to the puddles. As soon as I said "watch out for puddles, buddy", he immediately focused in on them with laser beam focus and made Shamu-worthy splashes. For an all-boy kid, he can be a prima donna about getting wet or dirty. If his hands get smudges or sticky, he has a diva-like fit. At what age do they put cause and effect together? You splash with all your might into a puddle, you will get wet. If you get wet, you will be uncomfortable. Who is the bigger moron? You or your mom for being surprised when you act like a big hypocrite and jump into the damn puddle?

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