Sunday, September 11, 2011

If I Ran the Zoo

If I ran the zoo, I would make many, many changes so it's not the nightmare experience I had to endure this weekend. First, I would put ankle tethers on my children so they cannot roam far and free. I would not have food and souvenir stands every 6 feet selling junk my kids know I won't buy yet they beg for anyway. Seriously, starving children beg for food with less drama than my kids beg for T-shirts and cotton candy. Sara wandered around climbing things like she wanted to be tiger food. After 2 hours of this, I was very seriously considering tossing her in myself. And I know animals need their space but really? Could that zoo be more spread out? At several moments, I was tempted to kick my tired 3 year old out of the stroller and plop myself down. And despite seeing lions, tigers, polar bears, elephants, etc, my son was fascination by......... Chipmunks. Yes, the little furry rodents that chill out every day on our deck. I would also install industrial sized fans in all public restrooms so they don't smell like the animals have been using them.

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