Needing To Be Needed

I love helping people. I love feeling needed. I love feeling like I made someone's day a little better, easier or brighter. I don't do it for their appreciation. I don't do it so they will feel indebted to me. I do it as much for me as I do for them. I love my friends and family. I am very blessed, lucky and fortunate. If a loved one is going through a hard time, I'll rack my brain trying to think of ways to help out and pitch in. I'm not bragging. In fact, I'm wondering if this makes me selfish. If doing something for someone else makes me feel good about myself, does that make me selfish? Is it wrong that it makes me better about myself?

On the flip side, I also won't hesitate to ask for help when I need it. I have wonderful friends and family who will jump to my rescue when called upon. My dad has met me at the ER at 10 pm to be a sound and rational person so I could fall apart when my 7 week old was having seizures. I needed a family member in the room when they poked at prodded him and I knew I couldn't watch it myself. It had to be almost as hard on my dad but he stepped up to the plate, covered his ears and did it. I've had neighbors run to the drugstore for me. I've had friends extend a visit to keep me company with my newborn because I was afraid to be alone. I had my sister-in-law rush me to the doctor.

I guess, at the end of the day, I believe what goes around comes around. If you are a good friend then you deserve good friends in your life. But, if it comes to sharing dessert, I'm a lousy friend and you should keep your distance.