Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Let's Set the Record Straight

I feel the need to clarify some things for my children. Contrary to what you think, we do not sit up at night thinking of ways to torture you and deprive you of joy and happiness. We do not make up rules just to annoy you. We do not throw lavish and thrilling parties after you fall asleep. We do not enjoy cleaning up your toys day in and day out. We do not enjoy doing load after load of laundry. We do not make you eat veggies just to watch you suffer. We do not enjoy being woken up at 3 am to find "lost" stuffed animals under the covers. Doing chores will not kill you or scar you for life. We do not enjoy getting soaked while bathing you. I'd rather take my own shower. We'd prefer to use the restroom in privacy. We don't need your company in there. Combing your hair, clipping your nails, giving you medicine is not a form of cruel and unusual punishment akin to water-boarding. We do not love listening to whining and breaking up fights over toys. We do these things for you because we love you. We do these things so you will grow up to be amazing, thoughtful, happy adults. We do all this so you can take care of us in our old age and we can watch you go through the same things with our grandchildren.

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