Friday, May 27, 2011
Walk the Line
When we were children, we played with boys and girls and probably didn't think much of it. As we grew up, we started noticing the differences between boys and girls. My daughter just finished 2nd grade and still plays with boys and girls. I know that will change in the coming years. She has plenty of "secret" crushes and enjoys playing with everyone.
Growing up in a household with 5 older brothers, I know men. I may not always understand all their quirky antics but I get along with them. Some of my best friends are men. Guys make great friends. They don't engage in drama or mind games. They don't pout and get upset about little things. They are honest about everything but not overtly-sensitive. You always know what they are thinking. You can tell them what you think and they take it in stride.
My husband grew up riding horses and made lots of female friends. I have no problem with him having female friends. I know and like his female friends. He knows and likes my male friends. His best childhood friend is a woman. Trust me, if they had wanted to date, they would have done so years ago. They have spent enough time together over the years to know that they make great friends, nothing more, nothing less.
We understand this and accept this about each other. We trust each other. In every adult male/female friendship, there is a line. There is a distinct line between a friendship and a romantic relationship. We know there is a line in those friendships that is never crossed. Having friends of the opposite sex has been very educational and beneficial. To avoid sitting through a Star Wars movie, I've been known to send him with one of my female friends so I don't have to sit through a movie about a gold robot with a British accent. I've had dinner with my friend's husband (I paid my own way but snacked off his plate).
Many people do not understand these relationships. They are not comfortable with these relationships. I understand that. Everyone's line is different. Paul has had dinner with my female friend, who is also our opthamologist, after an exam. These are not exes. We have never dated our friends of the opposite gender. They have always been and will always remain just friends. Our rule for these friendships is simple. We both have to be comfortable with it. Our spouses, our love and respect for each other, always comes first. I think we are able to have that line and friendship with men and women because we love, trust and respect each other.